Tuesday, November 20, 2012

You're So Right

A snippet from a conversation between Iris and me...

"You're so right."

"And then you said that... Huh? What did you just say?"

"You're so right."

"I am? What am I right about?"

"Everything we've spent the last fifteen minutes debating."

"I'm right? Really?"

"Yup."

"But just ten seconds ago you were adamant in refuting every word that passed my lips."

"You're so right; I was."

"But now you're not."

"Now I'm not. I decided that I was being defensive and not really listening to what you were saying."

"So you just stopped."

"Yes, but more than that. Rather than trying not to be defensive, I decided to look at everything you said from the perspective that you were correct, that you had insights I hadn't yet seen or understood."

"Really?"

"Yes. Basically I decided to pass everything you say through a filter that says, 'You're so right.'"

"Wow. How's it working?"

"Really well. First, it's a lot easier than trying not to be defensive. Second, well, it's helped me to see that you were right."

"Wow, that's really cool."

"You're so right."

"But what if I'd been wrong?"

"Well, then I'd have come to that conclusion from a perspective biased towards your having been right."

"That works?"

"Sure. It's much easier to assess what someone says, when you're not being defensive; it's much easier to not be defensive when you're actively supporting the person against whom you would otherwise defend."

"Wow... You're so right."

Happy Tuesday,
Teflon


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