Monday, March 26, 2012

Teflon: His Hat Went to Vegas Without Him

"Lucky hat? Lucky hat my butt." The man jabbers into his iPhone as he makes his way from Flatbush up 7th Avenue. "If this hat's lucky, then I'm Britney Spears."

The hat thinks, "Hey, I wasn't the one who kept shouting 'let it ride' at the roulette table. What kind of idiot bets everything on red, every time? If you'd only walked over to the black jack table, I could have helped you out. But nooooooo, not you. 'Black jack is for suckers!'. How could anyone think that black jack is for suckers, specially with me around."

The man laments his saga: delayed flights, failed attempts at room upgrades, never scoring, on the floor or elsewhere. "It's this stinkin' hat I tell ya. I never had such bad luck until it came along."

With that, the hat lifts its brim ever so slightly, catches a gust of wind and sails off the man's head. The man reaches for the hat with his cell phone hand, catches his forehead with an unkempt fingernail, and shouts "Ow!" as the phone clammers to the pavement on Lincoln Place.

As the man bends over to pick up the phone, an oncoming bike messenger looks up from his texting to see his way completely obstructed. The messenger vice grips his brakes. The bike stops. The messenger doesn't. As he flies over the stooped figure, he hears the man grumbling, "Who needs that stupid hat anyway."

The man stands and continues on his way home. The hat now airborne knows that it can't sustain flight for long. It looks for a place to land.

Amidst the sea of black-clothed locals, it spots a bright cyan-colored jacket born by a hatless woman with sun-streaked blond hair. It thinks, she must be for me. It adjusts his brim and angles in for landing. Just as it reaches her, it lifts its front brim causing it rise high into the air, stall and then drop.


"What was that?", the woman thinks as she reaches up searching the top of her head.

Her fingers gently caress the hat and then grip it more tightly as she lifts it from her head. She turns it over and around. "What a beautiful hat", she says. "Where'd you come from? Surely someone is missing you?"

That hat thinks, "If only you knew." Looking up at the adoring face it thinks, "Wow, jackpot!"

The woman looks around trying to discern who might have lost the hat, but none of the passersby in either direction have even slowed let alone stopped to look for an errant hat.

She looks at the hat and says, "You know what? I'm just going to think of you as a gift from the universe. I'm running late on my way to the airport. I'm heading to Vegas and ran out of time to shop for a hat to go with the black outfit that I wear with the band. You look perfect."

She slips the hat on her head. The hat tightens its band. It fits perfectly.

She grabs the handle of her suitcase and makes her way down the stairs to catch the subway.

The hat thinks, "Lady, this is your lucky day."

Happy Monday,

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