Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Alive

Silence.  An agonizing, soundless scream.  Too intense for utterances, so there is silence.  Gut wrenching, nails scraping across the chalkboard all day, fire alarms ringing in antagonism with each other, throat clogged up so much it's constricting breathing... silence.

After all, what's the point of sound?  What will it matter?  The crowds all around, they don't hear the sounds, they don't see the pain.  They move along, all in step to some invisible drummer, all to the same predictable beat.  Their sounds so predictable, so anesthetic, so normal, so ... silent.  Multitudes, like ants, marching to the tune of their own silent scream.

A sound, it pierces the silence.  A scream, a gut wrenching, nails scraping across the chalkboard all day, fire alarms ringing in antagonism with each other, throat clogged up so much it's constricting breathing... scream!  The screamer looks up in relief.  I heard myself! she thinks.  I broke the silence.  I made a sound.  Does it make a difference?  Does it matter?  Does it make the pain go away?  Who knows.  But the sound, it means I'm alive.

Alive.  An active agent, with living, moving parts.  Spinning around, looking around, seeing the moving hoards, she raced into action.  A wild dash, a beeline to the nearest unsuspecting minion. With all her strength, she crashed into another human body.   Surprise registered on the face of the human, as his body stumbled, arms flailing and reaching for... anything.  She watched, realization dawning.  I'm alive.

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