Wednesday, November 2, 2011

This is Really Important

I wish I could be there with you. You're so important to me. I just can't make it.

So you have something more important.

No, it's not that. There's nothing more important than me being with you today. It's just that...

Something more important came up?

Why do you keep saying that? I told you, being with you today is more important to me than anything.

Anything but whatever it is you're doing instead.

How do you know what's important to me. You can't read my mind.

No, but I can see your actions. You don't need to lie about it. I'm not upset that you won't make it.

Lying? How can you suggest that I would lie about something so important? You don't know what I'm thinking or feeling.

You're right. I can only hear what you're saying and see what you're doing. They're inconsistent. I guess I would qualify the word 'lie' with 'feebly'. You needn't lie so feebly about it. It's obvious that what you're doing instead of being with me today is more important to you than being with me today. Otherwise, you'd be with me today.

But it's not that simple. You can't just go telling people what their priorities are based on what they do versus what they say.

You can't?

Well, no. I mean. Hmmm...

What about an alcoholic who tells people he loves them and that they're more important to him than drinking, and then drinks? Or a woman says she loves you more than anything, but then cheats? Or a...

You're saying that I'm an alcoholic?

No. I'm saying that you can tell what's most important to a person by what she does, not what she says.

What about her feelings and thoughts.

Sentiment and well-wishes are nice, but in the end, without action, well, they don't count for a lot.

But being with you is really important. You're very important to me.

I'm not arguing that. I'm just saying whatever came up is more important. It might be transiently more important. It might be that you haven't really thought it through. But, for the moment, it's more important than being here with me today.

Doesn't that upset you?

Why should it?

Well, I mean, I'm making something more important than being with you. I'd be upset if you made something more important than being with me.

I do it all the time.

You do?

Sure. At night I make sleeping more important. At different times of day I make running or driving to the store or working more important than being with you. Does that upset you?

Of course not.

So what's the big deal?

Happy Wednesday,

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