Saturday, November 26, 2011

It's Time

It’s time.

He looks out at the tumultuous waters. He seems to see things I don’t yet see. The wind gently ruffles his giant mane. His enormous flank shields me as I pull in my coat to ward off the chill.

It's a strange moment, surreal.

It feels like the moment between inhaling and exhaling, the second between darkness and the beginning of dawn. Waiting, watching, expecting: something is going to happen. Something big.

I’ve worked for this moment. I’ve trained for this moment. So much of what I have done and experienced point to this moment, to this time. Now is the time.

My insides quiver nervously, excitedly, uncertainly... I do want this, don’t I? Before I can formulate a thought he whispers, "You are ready for this."

Do I believe that? Am I ready? It’s not too late to change my mind. It’s time, but for what?

I get to decide. This could be a time to retreat, to surrender to the status quo, to just be... normal. My mouth fills with a bitter taste at the thought; my stomach turns in revolt.

"No", I think, "Normal won’t do."

I take a deep breath and slowly turn my head from side to side, releasing the tension, releasing my uncertainty, releasing my need for certainty. I stretch my shoulders and pull myself upright straightening my back. I release my fingers that are still clenching my coat.

He seems to know, to sense the change in me. His eyes meet mine.

"Yes", I say. "It’s time."

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