Thursday, October 6, 2011

Hormones, crazy or unregulated?

I was feeling insane.  Literally.  I'll tell you about everything that was happening at the time, but I'm fairly used to chaos.  Why would I be losing my mind about this?  PMS!  ok... maybe I didn't take enough evening primrose oil and Chinese herbs.... Oh!  It's not PMS.  It's MS.... a few more days passed... it's just S.  Maybe it's early menopause.  Low progesterone can cause.... and maybe my thyroid...and there went my thoughts for several days during the insanity.

Fortunately, I have 2 rules: 
  • If Faith is feeling insane, Faith needs a break
  • Faith is likely to feel insane at some point so plan for breaks
Our anniversary had passed without our usual getaway.  Isaiah would be attending a conference in Arizona for 3 days.  I hadn't ever been to Arizona so decided that it would be a perfect getaway.  Thankfully, this decision was taken before the real insanity erupted. 

We got to Phoenix on Monday night, had dinner and went to bed.  Because of the 3 hour time difference, I had more time to sleep!  Whoohooo!  I woke up before 8, had my green juice, a piece of fruit, went to the gym, came back, had tea, read, journaled, read, prayed, listened to music, set goals, read and started to feel hungry.  I looked at the clock.  It was 11am!  I had been awake for 3 hours and everything I had done so far was a loving, nurturing act for myself.  I did it at my pace and still had the whole day ahead of me.  It was wonderful.

At the end of 3 days, I felt human.  I came home clear and settled, having taken the time to answer some questions that had been jiggling around in my mind. 

Half way through my first day back home, I thought, maybe it wasn't menopause or thyroid....  I just need the 30 minutes of walking and 30 minutes of self care by myself every day.  But I knew that.  Part of being internally regulated is knowing what your system needs and doing it.  Doing it may need some planning.  I have good intentions, but need structure around making these activities a part of every day.  So, I'm getting back to doing these things every day.  Actually, 'day' is too loose for me.  I have to pin it down to a time of the day or else it becomes a moving target. 

I think I'll tell the kids to run me through my 'every day' checklist when they see the insanity raising its head.  They may have to duck while they read it.

1 comment:

  1. Faith, Maybe it's time to recruit coconspirators in your plans for self-care. Iris and I have a pretty well set list of things on which I check in with her, e.g., BTW, did you remember to... or Hey, you mentioned that you really wanted to...

    Over the years, they've become much more ingrained in my mind than in hers. Sometimes, "Hey, how many pills do you have left in this month's cycle?" can have a remarkably calming affect.

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