Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I Agree

Yesterday was remarkable.

It all starts with Iris who in the midst of arguing with me, stops, thinks, and then says, "I agree."

That may not seem remarkable to you who know Iris. You've probably experienced her as easy-going and agreeable. In many instances she is. In others (especially ones where she feels that someone is telling her what to do or telling her how it is), she's not; she just keeps her objections to herself. To avoid a messy build-up of unspoken disagreement, she tends to vent the back pressure with me. At those points, she becomes the woman who will not take "Yes" for an answer.

For example, the other day we're driving to town; I comment on how well Iris played the previous evening, on how she's become a solid drummer with a strong sense of time that doesn't vary. Iris' response? Argue how she isn't becoming a good drummer and that maybe she ought not be playing.

Ahhh... but yesterday was different. Moments after embarking upon a line of reasoning designed to prove a point I'm pretty sure she doesn't actually hold as true, Iris stops, thinks, and then says, "I agree."

My jaw drops. She looks at me, smiles and says, "Yes, you heard me correctly. I agree."

A few minutes later, she does it again. That's two in a row. Who knows what the day may hold.

As we continue talking through breakfast, Iris pulls up mid sentence, thinks, and then says, "You're right; I agree."

Four times in one morning.

I ask her, "What changed?"

She thinks for a moment and says, "My awareness. With the Adderall, I'm much more aware of what I'm doing. I can see how I'm becoming resistant just to be resistant. When I see it, I stop myself."

With so little time spent on disagreement for disagreement's sake, our conversation proceeds at light-speed. We touch on all sorts of great topics, cover what each of us has planned for the day, and explore some new ideas in music.

It's amazing how much more you can do when you're not spending time on where you disagree.

Happy Tuesday,

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