Sunday, June 5, 2011

Rock in the Surf

My laundry is tumbling in the basement; the groceries are in the house; I had breakfast.

It’s the first morning after we got home from a fantastic family holiday in Myrtle Beach. Mark is mowing the lawn while I sit myself behind the computer to write you.

We stayed in a beautiful house at the beach. If I say we, I mean 10 adults, 2 young ladies and 4 young children. Every morning I went for a run or a walk over the beach. I hang out with the family, read books and enjoyed the weather. I also curiously and enthusiastically observed human behavior in a group structure. You never know what will happen in a group of people, and group-dynamics are very intriguing to me.

What we believe...

One of my beloved persons to observe in a group setting is myself, and how I respond to the group. I think I like to use myself as a subject, because I can look into my head and unravel my beliefs, while if someone else is the subject I am depending on the information I get from them. I have the tendency to want to withdrawal when things get too much. But what does too much mean? And why do I set my boundaries there, and not somewhere else?

This week I realized that I make a difference in my tolerance towards children and adults. Kids can cry and whine and complain as much as they want, and I see that they do the best they can. I will guide and lead to give them the opportunity to grow and learn. But when adults whine or complain I mostly do not go there. It is interesting, but in those instances I activate the belief that “they should know better”. The response to that belief is that I let the adult swim in his misery instead of showing other ways of dealing with the situation.

And so I give children more opportunities to grow and learn than adults. With children I engage, while with adults I might decide to put on my bikini and go for a walk on the beach.

During the holiday I have seen myself turn on and of this particular belief and have been able to observe how this made a difference in my actions. During the moments I had it deactivated, I might share with the adult an story about how I dealt with a same kind of situation before, or maybe even just help the tired parent by taking care of their child for a bit. In other moments, when the belief was activated, I might withdrawal to the bedroom to get rest or start whining or complaining myself.

This morning I realize that during the week I created the belief that adults also look for support and help, and that there is a lot I can do to help by just being there and being open to the opportunity to be a rock in the surf. I want to engage and grow this belief by spending more time being helpful to adults.

So reader, how can I be your rock in the surf?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Read, smile, think and post a message to let us know how this article inspired you...