Wednesday, March 2, 2011


written by Barbara Balla in 2010

Working with families with special children is an amazing growing opportunity. I learn so much about life, love and at the moment a lot about acceptance. I have always heard and known that the first step towards changing something is accepting it. I have the chance to see how true it is. Many families I meet recently, who are just starting their home programs are often at the stage when they just want a “normal” life and want it right now. They see their children’s behavior as something that must change and at this moment.

I don’t think any of us have a classical normal life. We all have challenges and often times our challenges seem to be the biggest for us. Maybe for another person the same thing would be easy. I believe that we came to this life to learn, grow and experience. These great learning opportunities give us the chance to do all this.

At the moment in our society it seems to be quite common that we want everything to be perfect and easy right now. Most people when they feel sick they go to the doctor to make it better and don’t look at the cause of their condition. When we have a gadget that doesn’t work 100% we don’t get it fixed we just get rid of it and buy a new one. When a relationship doesn’t work perfectly we tend to jump out of it and find a new person till similar challenges rise and we can start the search again.

Why are we scared to accept our situation and stay with it for a little why? Most commonly people say: “Accepting my situation would mean that it is ok and I wouldn’t do anything to make it better”.
How about going along the thoughts: I accept my situation so that I am not fighting it anymore. This way I can take a clear good look at what I can do in order to change it towards more positive.

I have been thinking of a friend who was unemployed for a while. He was totally fine with his life as he could have big sleeps during the morning, play online games with his online friends, watch movies, hang out with his friends in the evenings and get some money from the government that kept him going. He was totally happy in this situation and didn’t want to change it. Not because he accepted his situation but because he enjoyed it and this was what he wanted at the time. When he felt it was time to get more income he got a job.

I believe when we are staying in a situation we want to be in it for a reason.
When you are in a situation you want to change the most useful first step is to accept it and from the place of acceptance you can more clearly think of the steps to change it.

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