Friday, February 4, 2011

Bed and I

Where do I begin...

I have this funny relationship with Bed. Outside of its providing a useful venue for sex, I've been finding Bed to be, well, less and less appealing.

At one time, there was that spark I felt whenever I entered a room and Bed was there. Bed was alluring, undeniably desirable, compelling and mesmerizing. I would often long for Bed when I was away. Sometimes in the middle of the day, just after lunch or during a long meeting, I would start to picture Bed in my mind's eye. I'd imagine walking back to my office and finding Bed there, just waiting, blankets turned down. Then, throughout the rest of the day I'd be distracted, anticipating coming home to Bed, dressed all come-hither in fresh cotton sheets, ready to hold me, to comfort me, to soothe me. Ahhh… Bed.

But that was then.

Nowadays, there's just something missing. Something I can't quite put my finger on.

Sure, we see each other every day, but we seem to be spending less and less time together. Sure, there are some nights, after long and challenging days, where bed and I spend eight or even nine hours together. On those nights, I can almost feel those old sensations, the desire, the passion, the sense of comfort and relief. But then morning comes, and, well...

To be clear. There's nothing wrong with bed. Bed is as Bed always has been. It's me, not Bed, that has changed. If there's anyone who's wrong, it's me.

Sometimes I feel guilty about it, that I should be spending more time with Bed, but then I wonder. I mean, I first met bed when I was quite young. How was I to know who I might become, how I might change. Is it really wrong to want something different as we grow older and mature? Should we be beholden to ideals and concepts that we held in our naive and foolish youths? I mean, c'mon, people change, people grow, people move on. And it's OK.

Change can make us uncomfortable. It can make us sad. But it can also make us happy. Who doesn't love the feeling of freshly washed cotton sheets or a new down comforter or the transition from flannel to linen as the winter warms to spring. Good? Bad? It's really just a matter of perspective.

My spending less time with Bed provides new opportunities that Bed can choose to pursue or not. Surely Bed's lifespan will be increased. What's wrong with that? Less wear and tear. Less compression and depression. Greater exposure to fresh air. A chance to breathe.

I'd been thinking that the change in our relationship might have been signaling its end, but it's not. Our relationship is evolving. We can decide to make that a bad thing, or we can make it a good thing. It's up to us. Whatever happens, Bed and I will always have relationship; we're forever tied by the bonds that first brought us together.

Happy Friday,


  1. My name is Mark. I'm a bedaholic (Hi Mark! Hi Mark!). I just looove this piece for how it speaks to one of the major relationships in my life and shows me a whole new perspective on this and other important relationships in my life (some of them even with people). I especially love the tone of evolution and change on your part without the need to denigrate or villify your former partner. Thanks for teaching me by your example.

  2. P. S. - I wrote that comment (and this postscript) in bed, but now I'm thinking of getting up. Who knows what I could do with the next 8 hours?


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