Saturday, January 15, 2011

My Vision for 2011

I have a vision for 2011. It started out as a vision for my relationships: my relationship with work, my relationship with family, my relationship with friends, intimate relationsships and the relationship with myself, but it grew into a vision for my life in 2011.

My vision is: to be open to receive.

It almost sounds like some new age, "Let's trust the universe and trust that the universe is benevolent and that the universe will always provide us what is actually best for us."

Maybe it is, but to me it's more; it's life-changing.

How Did I Find My Vision?
To some people it might sound weird that I "found" my vision versus I "created" my vision. But that is really what it feels like.

I was at a Melting Monday where we performed a set of soft tantric exercises. This day, most of the exercises were split by gender. So while the women opened up to feel, see, hear their 2011 vision regarding relationships, the men were deciding on their live's purposes.

As soon as we were given the exercise, it came to me: this is the year to receive.

The women were lining up in row and walking into a tunnel created by men and lead to some madresses. To the sound of music we let our bodies decide what we wanted to do, first in a group of women and later with the men. I enjoyed being in the feminine energy. Feeling the closeness of women, moving in silence, touching, carressing, breathing.

I realized that sometimes giving is the deepest way to receive. I also realized that, to get the full experience of receiving, you have to let go of the outcome.

My heart was deeply touched and it was as if my life would never be the same.

What do I mean by receiving? How is my focus different than what it used to be?

Among Friends
I often feel that I am giving more than I am receiving, especially when giving a lot of attention. I call people. I follow up on their lives. I remember what their challenges are. And yet, it seems that they rarely call back, nor do they remember what I told them.

Now that I have decided live in receiving, I no longer expect relationships to be "equal". I see how I often used to give in order to receive. So going forward, I will give only to receive the pleasure of giving. It's funny how deciding to change a behavior makes you so much more aware of how often you did what you are changing. I wasn't aware of this deeply ingrained behavior: giving to receive.

In 2011, I will not call as often as I used to. I will not expect others to call back. I will feel more grateful when they pick up the phone. I will feel grateful when they call me.

At Work
2010 was a busy year at work, and 2011 started with my manager pointing out all the things I did not do in 2010. I was stunned. Not a single word about how I had spent evenings and weekends fixing things that were changed in last minute. Some of the things were even things I had made clear I wouldn't focus on since I was lacking ressources.

Yet my manager was like someone focusing on the holes in the cheese, and I was not happy about it!

Then I got my vision and I decided that focusing on getting the job done was enough. Enjoying doing what had to be done, becoming better at vizualising what I have and will have accomplished.

The funny thing is that something changed in my manager; he is now starting to see what I have been doing. I keep telling my employees what I like about the way they do their jobs. I don't care so much about whether or not I am recognized for my accomplishments, which means that I do not get more or less happy. I just get the job done and I feel good.

My Relationship with Myself
I have often had a list of things I wanted to do, things I wanted to accomplish, things I wanted to change in myself. It can be very motivating, but it can also create a feeling of have to or should.

I have a new strategy now. Whenever I have the time (or should I say, "Whenever I remember"), I just breathe in and open my heart. I open my heart to the feeling of should, to the feeling of sadness, to the feeling of happiness, to whatever is present. It feels like I am opening up to myself. Often I get teary, I get the feeling of beeing blessed, of being seen. It feels like I am receiving love, from myself, from the universe.

Receiving and Letting Go
What has been most important to me is learning this:

to get the full feeling of receiving
I had to let go of what do I want to receive.

It's like having sex. You can't fully enjoy the moment if you are busy giving direction about where you want to be touched. However, when you let go and totally trust that your partner is giving you what you most deeply want to receive, then you can achieve ecstasy.

It doesn't mean that I can never tell someone what's on my mind; it just means that I do not plan to tell what's on my mind. I told my manager that I would want a completly different position in the company, but for now I just do the tasks that need to be done without worrying about what the future might bring.

What Did You Receive Today?
I invite you into my universe and ask you the following questions:

What will you receive today?

Will you be fully open to receiving?

Will you enjoy and savor receiving, or will you immediately start thinking about giving back?

Will you find the blessing in being able to give?

Will you fully experience and enjoy someone accepting what you give them?

With gratitude,



  1. This is a very special year. It ends in lucky "11" -- which I feel signifies hope.

    I am ready to create a magical, beautiful year. Please, feel free, feel hope, feel your creative energy surge. We can co-create this year to be the year we've always hoped for.

    Random Acts Of Sharing - RAOS Theory

  2. Lucky 11....that is cool.
    Joy, That is a great list.
    I changed every time it says "you"
    to "I" in exploring the usefulness, Or even stating it instead of asking myself, along with answering the unspoken question behind motivating oneself, why.

    Yes, 'will I or won't I' etc etc is also a good place to start.

    The work example, had me remembering how common it is for many of us to be looking for indications of, or proof of our being loved/loveable. In holding the belief that I in fact am loved/loveable, and whatever another thinks, says, does, is really none of my business, I am better able to not take it as anything at all about me, or what I am about.

    ie I am open, to the lessons of life, and to receiving, (interpretation wise,) whatever I choose...and, I choose..... bw

  3. Hi BW

    I think that is is so easy to shut down and feel unloved/ un loveable - rather than start from the place of opening to love. To me it's a pracitce that I have to remind myself, again and again.

    Big love to you


  4. thanks.

    You know the routine Joy. Explore the beliefs behind the behavior. Decide what one really wants....and be open to looking for beliefs/thinking that support or draw that to one. bw


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