Thursday, December 23, 2010

Swirl of thoughts

I've been sitting here for a few minutes wondering what to write.  My mind is swirling with thoughts, all quite related, yet, if displayed in print on a tv screen, would look jumbled and disconnected (unless you had autism, then you would definitely see the connections!). 

Jaedon  went to sleep at about 5:00 am this morning, so, you guessed it, so did I.  A few hours later, I was awake again, reluctant, but deciding to engage my day.  Simonne soon joins me in my bed and we have a good time chatting about anything and everything.  It's our time together.  She's usually awake before the boys.   Shortly, Zach joins us with hurricane like gyrations.  These movements storm him to the spot on the bed that I had just rested my glasses and before I knew it, someone announced "Mommy, your glasses broke!" Sigh.  The beginning of the end. 

My glasses prescription is about -6 diopters.  That basically means it's close to illegal for me to do anything without wearing them.  This kind of prescription looks really atrocious in glasses unless one has the super thin, anti-reflective coated lenses. $489.  I face the guy in the sterling optical with an earnest face as he shares this news.  Who knows how long the paper glue will last?  A lens falling out won't work while driving.  We strike a deal based on the promise of cash and off I go to deplete the yet still meager savings that were inching up to the goal of a Macbook Pro.  A promise of 48 hours or less to new glasses and I'm on my way home.

In the back of my mind, I'm ruminating on Jaedon snuggled up in bed at 2 in the afternoon.  As I tried to get him out of bed earlier, he vehemently told me "No!" and pulled the covers over his head.  I remember thinking how smart he was, even as my heart sank.  It was going to be a long day.

The truth is, it's easier to deal with day time emergencies and maybe get a few mundane things done, if Jay is in bed, out of the way.... Did I say that?  It's just that there is more to pay attention to...much more... when he is doing Tornado Jaedon. And I am exhausted.

Isaiah is talking to me on the phone from work, hearing the damage that replacing my glasses will do.  Somewhere in the conversation, he has a nap for a second or 2.  He had a smidge more sleep than I did last night.

So now it's 3:00 a.m. and Jay and I are both up. Tonight, I may fall asleep before he does.  I've unscrewed the light bulb in the kids room (to prevent Jay from turning back on the light) and locked the bathroom and my bedroom doors.

My system is screaming for a break and I'm going to give it one.  I'm going to remove everything from my to-do list except for
  • relaxing and otherwise caring for myself
  • wrapping presents
  • making crafty presents
  • thinking about 'peace on earth and goodwill towards men'
  • having fun
I'm doing that until next wednesday. 

So that's about 20% of the swirl of thoughts.  Thanks for listening.

P.S. By the way, the 48 hour window for new glasses has been extended to 1 week because of complications with my prescription and ordering lenses.

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