Monday, April 12, 2010

Spit and other things, Part 1

I mentioned last week that Jaedon has a new fascination with spit.  He collects it in his mouth, filling up his cheeks until he has a natural fish face.  He swishes it around in his mouth, making the most interesting noises.  He often wants to speak, and finding his mouth full, he then hums the words.  Sometimes he even tries to speak.... though it is not much clearer than humming.  Sometimes he starts to giggle and spit comes trickling, or gushing out.

It was about a year ago that I first started writing about my journey in the world of loving acceptance, and the nudge that drooling  was for me.

I'm fanatical about smells. My mom works in a home for people with significant physical and developmental challenges.  Many of her clients are in wheel chairs, with feeding tubes.  None of them speak.  I visited her at work one day.  One of the first things I noted was the smell.  It wasn't the 'nothing' smell of an ordinary home.  It wasn't the warm fragrant smell of food and other pleasantries.  It wasn't even a bad smell, like garbage or poop.  It was an odd smell of stale disinfectant and other cleaners.  Many body fluids of various sorts were emitted throughout the day and cleanup was a steady ritual.  Whenever Mummy got home in the evenings, she   disrobed and took all her clothes to the laundry room, showered and washed her hair.  The smell of her  job was now in the laundry room.

When Jay was about 4 and still not anywhere close to being potty trained, I remember deciding that no matter what, he wouldn't smell.  I am a fastidious changer of pull-ups, an over-user of wipes and all kinds of cleaning agents and essential oils.  I can become discombobulated if I return home after a day away, and there is anything but the smell of childhood coming from Jay's direction.

Now, the science of pee and poop smell management I have down pat.  Spit now, was totally something else.

After years of learning to see things in new and different ways, it's as if there is an argument going on in my mind.  I can easily think of 3 possible wonderful things happening with Jay as he holds spit in his mouth:

  • He's increasing his muscle tone
  • Circulation in his mouth area is increasing so his lips are much less dry, almost pink
  • He may be stimulating saliva production and this may be helping with digestion
Nonetheless, I say Forget that!  Give me no spit!  No fluid coming out of your mouth when you giggle.  No worries about people thinking you are regressing. No internal battle with myself say I say 'are you regressing?' No worrying about people seeing and/or smelling spit and being turned off.  I thought I had dissolved the fears of the future.  

I'm not sure I can write much more about this matter, because it wasn't until writing this post that the connection between spit and my smells fanaticism hit me.  I want to spend some time with a friend talking this one out (Iris???).

I'm glad I'm seeing this today because today I can look at my internal responses with curiosity.  A few years ago, I wasn't as curious!  Although sometimes I'm tempted to throw up my hands in the air and say "Shouldn't you be done with this already?", for the most part, I embrace the new realizations, and look forward to the more I discover about myself along this journey.

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