Monday, March 15, 2010

Lost

I used to have nightmares about losing my children in a department store. I would always find them giggling and playing games under the racks of clothes. After the sense of panic had subsided, I simply sat and watched as a smile slowly filled my face. In their reality, they were never lost. They were simply experiencing a new way to explore new things and having a blast. I was thinking about these nighmares recently after having lunch with a friend who spent most of our time together describing how lost she felt in her life. She described her discomfort about the "uncertainty of her future", and about having "no direction". These thoughts seemed quite paralyzing for her and given my experience with career coaching seem quite common.

How many of you have created discomfort as a result of an "uncertain future"? One of my most profound "aha moments" was shortly after our amazing and beautiful son David was diagnosed with autism. Once a "specialist" declared that his/ our future was uncertain, I became much more comfortable taking things one day at a time. We quickly put together a plan of action, researched available options, and began a journey. As I look back on this now, I chuckle. Did I really need an autism specialist to tell me that the future was uncertain? It sounds so silly now but my actions actually validate that I was living my life as if the future was "certain". As if everything I did today shaped tomorrow in the exact way I thought it should. As you can imagine, I experienced a lot emotions associated with dissapointment. Now that I know for sure that our future is uncertain (thanks specialist), I don't experience dissapointment. Sure there are things that don't work out the way I wanted them to but I am no longer "dissapointed". Instead, I think about the clothes racks and how something so frightening to me was so exciting to two amazing childern who know more about happiness and fun than anyone!

Love to all,
Kathy

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