Sunday, January 10, 2010

What to do in 2010?

In the last week I have asked the following question to a lot of people around me: what are you going to do in two-thousand-and -ten that you have never done before? I also answered the question myself at different times during these conversations. I am quite proud of my list of new things I will be doing this year, but I realized that I was not satisfied with my answers, because all the new things I will be doing flow from things I am already doing. For example: creating a new book with the Belief Makers authors, or creating new activities related to my mentoring business and musical career.

I wanted to come up with something really challenging and new. Something I would never have thought about, and would be a real challenge for me. Something ridiculous!

There you have it!
Two nights ago, I found my answer when I was preparing for bed. I found the biggest challenge for me physically and mentally. A challenge that when I think about it, my mind says that's too ridiculous to even consider. I have been pushing away the possibility, and have tried to deny the existence of the answer. I kinda wish I never found it! But wouldn't it be great if I could do it?And naturally I can, because thousands of people do it every year. But I do not understand how they do it, and I never wanted to know.

I have to think about by friend Joy, who's visit in 2009 has somehow planted this seed in my mind. And now this seed bursted and the first small tiny sprouts are becoming visible. And I am fighting it will all my resistance, because I know this will mean that I have to change most of my habits, dig deep into my beliefs in many areas, and take action in a way I am very resistant to!

Yesterday evening I went to bed knowing that I am going to do it. And I could not sleep, because I am nervous and afraid. I know this year will help me break from thousands of behaviors and beliefs that are no longer serving me and create wonderful new habits, but I imagine it to also be a hard process. Probably the biggest challenge I have given myself since... I can't remember.

301 days
Three Hundred and One days left to my goal, and I know that I have to start without delay. There is a part in me screaming yes finally, do something! You have not been active enough. It's time to get your body in action and get over yourself. At the same time I am reciting a list of past events in my head that prove that what I am going to do is NOT, NOT, NOT an option.

I never ran more than two kilometers. And these runs have always been a mental struggle. I hate it. I hate that little voice in my head that says: what the F*K are you doing? Are you insane? This is totally ridiculous! Stop now. If it hurts it is unhealthy!

Lottery
This morning I signed up for the lottery of the 2010 New York Marathon and I will start training today. If I do not get into this Marathon, I will run another marathon at the end of this year to make sure I will go through this learning process by challenging myself in this new way.

My first beliefs to tackle:
1. It is going to be hard. I want to motivate myself with something more fun than this drama statement, but at this moment I strongly belief that it is going to be hard.
2. If it hurts it is unhealthy. With my light asthmatic lungs pain shows up easily in the beginning when I challenge them. I hate challenging them.

Mark sent me a link to a website this morning where a running mom is motivating others to start too:

"All you have to do to get started is put one foot in front of the other. You don't have to be fast. You don't have to have a lot of stamina when you're just starting out - you'll get there!You don't have to be in tip-top shape. You just have to get out there and put one foot in front of the other and make it a block, then another block. If all you do the first time you go out there is run ten blocks, you've done better than I did my first time running outdoors."

OK, anyone up for a run?

1 comment:

  1. You just liked my medal....

    NYC ING Marathon is the best - crossing the brigde into Brooklyn is fantastic, the cheering crowed are exceptional, croosing the finishing line getting your hands in the air knowing "I made it" is undescripable, so why care if marathons are healthy?

    A second choise could be Berlin in end of september - full of crazy people dressed up, or a'dam in october, less special but more familiar and with an option of bitterballe, rijs taffel and appelpie the next day...

    Just keep running girl.

    Big love Joy

    ReplyDelete

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