Saturday, December 19, 2009

Letting go

My boyfriend and I went Christmas shopping. It was the second time we went shopping for Christmas presents and both times we ended up with loads of stuff for us, along with some for our loved ones. We love to treat ourselves!

When we went into a very cute shop with home decoration things in it, I saw a fridge magnet saying, "Let go!"

I produced an anxious feeling in my tummy, as this is not something that has been easy for me to do. My inner thoughts screamed, "Letting go means being totally out of control, and I have to control everything to feel safe!"

So I thought this would be perfect for me. I would buy the magnet and put it on the fridge to remind me many times during the day when I am at home.

Floating Happy Bubble
After meeting my magnet, I started thinking about letting go. Out of experience and observation I know that we tend to believe that if they would let go of our beliefs that are keeping us in line (our drive to succeed, our commitments, our worries and anxiety, our wanting to be in control, our unhappiness), we would end up floating happy bubbles doing nothing at all.

How amazing that we are scared to be happy because we believe that we wouldn't do anything.

Everything Seems Easy When You’re Happy
I also thought of the times when I feel truly happy. In spite of beliefs that I need to hang on tightly to motivate myself, at those times I am totally motivated to do things and everything seems easier. I am joyful, my day is more colorful, I have amazing interaction with the people around me, I can focus better and I can inspire the ones around me to also choose happiness.

Dying from Happiness
Letting go my unhappiness producing beliefs was difficult for a long time because I believed that if I were happy I would die. Over time I created proof that disproves this belief. I have been happy many times, I have let loads of beliefs go and I am definitely still here!

I realize that I also believed that life is a school where I have to complete different tasks and when I will be done I will leave school. The goal is to graduate and get home to God. To graduate, I can't be happy (see my belief above); I need to be unhappy to live and learn my lessons and do my tests. Isn't it amazing what stuff we can make up about life. Does it really have to be this complicated or can we live simply happily?

Happy People are Weird!
Sometimes I believe that if I were happy all the time, I would be such a weird person that nobody would love me or want to be with me. I would just not fit in. But actually, since becoming more and more happy, I am finding more people who are on the same path and I am able to share my experiences with them. We are so good at scaring ourselves into unhappiness!

Letting Go of Expectations Works
Expectations are another area for me where I often practice letting go. In my job working with autistic children, I expect so much from the children I work with, but well... they don’t always do it.

Ok, ok, I am just joking! My work is the place where expectations are left outside the door. This creates an amazing environment for the children that helps them blossom into wonderful flowers in the smoothest ways. When we start expecting, we start pushing or pulling and the other person tends to get stubborn or push back. And this is so true outside of the playroom, too.

Letting Go is Magic!
Magic happens when we let go! It is so amazing, many times almost in the instant we relax and say goodbye to our expectations, the other person does what we want him/her to do, immediately. Once a dad was telling us a story of his child not wanting to wear clothes. He and his wife were working with him to encourage him to wear clothes for a long time, but he just did not want to do it. One night they decided to be OK with their son not wearing clothes and the next morning he got dressed!

Isn’t that amazing? We work ourselves up, get unhappy to get others to do things, and the easiest and most pleasant way is actually when we feel relaxed and trust that it will all work out the best way.

The bonus is that we can be happy the whole time, before it works out, after it works out, and even if it doesn't work out!

So, let go... let go... let gooooo...

1 comment:

  1. Oh B! I love this. That you chose to use a picture of a hand that has dirt all over it to illustrate your point really says a lot! You have come a long way in letting go my friend.

    Love you,
    Jeannene

    ReplyDelete

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