Monday, November 23, 2009

Go Fish

My seven year old daughter Aly loves to play the card game "go fish". It's a game where the players try to get the most matches by asking each other if they have a particular card and if they don't, they respond "go fish" and a card is chosen from the deck. Playing with Aly is extra fun because she likes to change the rules throughout the game. She is quite creative with her ever changing rules but one thing is always consistent, her rules ensure she wins. Aly and I played "go fish" a lot this weekend and I began to realize that Aly didn't particularly care about winning even though it was a clear intention of hers throughout the games. When I asked her about this she simply stated that "you are supposed to win, that's why you play".

Interesting belief.... As with most beliefs my children express, I began to think about how I was teaching this in our lives. I immediately thought of a recent comment I made about how I am not good at puzzles so I didn't want to play with them. This one recollection opened the flood gates and hundreds of examples of not doing things because I wasn't sure I would "win" came to mind. I realized that I am so focused on outcomes that I almost never enjoy things for the simple pleasure of enjoying them. This awareness is incredibly profound for me as I continue my journey of living a happy life. Before writing this blog, Aly, David and I had a blast making all the puzzles that David got for his birthday. I am still not very good at puzzles but we certainly laughed a lot!

Love to all,

1 comment:

  1. I read this blog this morning before I went into the playroom with your son. He surprised me with the following sentence: "I don't want to shuffle...." pause and then "DAVID!" in a voice as if David just did something the other person is not agreeing on!

    I had to laugh, because it must be interesting to play a game with your daughter where she beliefs she has to win and wants to play the game over and over, while your son doesn't want to give the cards back after he got them ordered!

    I took the time to explain that card games are like puzzles, you break them and make them. Because it is fun! I hope he will continue to share more of his experiences with me this way. It has nothing to do with winning, but everything with relating! Enjoy the puzzles and the games, Kathy!


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