Thursday, October 29, 2009

Fear Triggered by Milky Discharge

Two evenings ago my world got shaken deeply. While examining my breasts which I do regularly, one of my breasts started to discharge something milky. First I looked at it in utter surprise, and then went into shock… Oh, my god! Am I pregnant?

You must know that I decided years ago that I don't want to have children. Mark has three grown children and two grand children whom I love, and I do not have any desire to raise my own children.

After a night of weird bloody dreams with dead aborted babies that were used for experiments to have souls implanted from people who died (yep, too many x-files!), I called the doctor's office and nervously told them my concerns. They were so kind to let me come in that afternoon. I was so grateful for that. I wanted to take action, because waiting just seemed too much.

When I told the doctor my story, she thought out loud about what could be going on. She decided to have my blood checked for thyroid problems and some hormonal things.  She also decided to send a little of the discharge to the lab to check for different breast problems.

She never ever, even once, mentioned pregnancy. I said, "don't you want to check on pregnancy?"

She responded, "But you use anti-conception. Do you think you are pregnant?"

I said, "No! (apparently very inauthentically), but I still want you to test me for it!"

Ohh, ohh, ohh, these fears we have! The sweet lady decided to have a pregnancy test run for my peace of mind, while she was going on to research all the other possibilities.

Back home, I got on the Internet and did my own research. It turns out that lots of women experience a milky discharge from their breasts while not pregnant. When you are pregnant, it starts normally somewhere between week eighteen and the end of the pregnancy.

Women also have these discharges in relation to lots of other things: it can be related to their hormonal balance, pre-menopause, medications they take, clogged pores in the breasts, different diseases, and the list goes all the way to cancer. Even men can have these challenges.

Pfff... While reading all this, I started to feel much, much better! I decided that I am going to be just fine!

You can guess that I slept with sweet dreams that night..

This morning I am feeling great! I believe I did the best thing to do, by going to the doctor and have everything tested. I believe I am not pregnant; I don't feel a cantaloupe in my belly (I found that description somewhere online, for the state you're in by the time you breasts start to discharge) and I use anti-conception medication.

The discharge doesn't look worrisome (you should read about the different colors that can come out. ughh!) and the doctor is looking into the different possibilities of what might be going on. I am grateful for my body talking to me and making me aware that it was time for a checkup.

Yep. What an experience. I learned so much. I know so much more about myself. And, I realized that if I would ever get pregnant, I would be able to figure out what to do.

Goodbye fear!

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