Sunday, August 16, 2009

Taught not to think...

This week Mark and I were in the opportunity to have lots of great discussions with different friends who came to town. Along dinners in restaurants, at our kitchen table, around the barbeque, and on sidewalks we discussed things like: what is hope? Where and what is the tipping point where people loose hope? What is thought? Are we taught to think?

I made the statement that I believe that a lot of the teaching we generally do is not about us learning to think, but about teaching us to fit in and comfortably move around the "structural" society we live in.

I also made the statement that this starts at a very young age. And I gave a couple of examples where children see what is going on in a situation and try to explain the solution to the adult, but the adult is not listening or acknowledging the child's ideas. The adult might have been so focused on something else that they didn’t register the solution the child suggested, they may have been believing that the child is not smart enough to understand the problem and find a good solution, they might not have wanted the solution from the child because they wanted to find one themselves... Whatever the reason was, the adult decided not to listen and involve the child in that situation.

I believe most children will not look at that situation and automatically say: hee, the adult is not present with my solution, how interesting. They are missing out on a discussion about my solution, what a pity. No, I believe that in the world today, with the belief structures we have been teaching, lots of kids immediately go to: "it doesn’t matter what I think", or "no one cares what I think", or "no one will listen anyway". And some kids even go so far as to close themselves up and to no longer show the wonderful thoughts living in their minds.

What happens when these children grow up? By the time they are adults, they have strengthened these beliefs. And instead of actively participating and creating their lives, they use what happens outside of them to define who they are and what they want to do. No wonder I meet so many people who say they are trying to find themselves. They say they do not know what they want in work, in live, in relationships. They say everything is hard work.

This article is not meant to point fingers but to make you think about when was a time you were in a situation like I described above.

Do you remember a time as child when no one wanted to listen to you?
What did you make up about that situation?
How does that show up today?
Is that the way you want to live your life?
Have you actively been ignoring or trying to stop someone’s thoughts lately?
What was your motivation for that?
Do you believe you did it in a way that taught the other to fit into your structure or let them create their own thought structure?
Having answered these questions, is there anything you want to change?

Have a great, inspirational week!

1 comment:

  1. ahh yes, believing your thoughts ideas are meaningless, have no value, that simply supportsloosing much any view of hope for oneself.
    Interesting reflection on how many unthinkly encourage such choices in their relationships.

    ReplyDelete

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