Friday, July 24, 2009

Defying Gravity

For the past two weeks, the song Defying Gravity, from the Broadway play 'Wicked', has been ringing in my head. Click on the title of the post to hear the song. So, can gravity be defied? Sure!! Birds do it all the time. So do butterflies, bees and aeroplanes. They were meant to defy gravity, and so am I.

I have recently started a few new projects that, added to my already full plate (wife, SAHM, 3 homeschooled children, one with a diagnosis of ASD, home business), seem like an experiment in trying to catch things that fall off the plate! Old voices whispering 'Are you crazy?' 'What do you think you're doing?' compete with my newer empowered beliefs. For a while, I stopped and listened. And that listening was like the force of gravity to an aeroplane without sufficient power in its engine.

So many of us walk this path of personal growth, sometimes 'up', sometimes 'down'. For me, the 'up' usually comes from an experience of consistent self exploration, asking myself questions, listening to my answers, changing the beliefs that don't take me where I want to go. Those experiences are like fuel in my already powerful aircraft. It is as if I defy gravity immediately. I rev my engines and off I go!

I so treasure those experiences, because they let me know that I can change and live my life in empowered, gravity defying ways. So how come I don't do that all the time? Well, I'm figuring that out and can't tell you all that I've discovered in looking at that question. Suffice it to say, somehow, my fuel source seems to go dry and I lose power. How come? Well, honestly, sometimes I don't want to ask myself any questions and come to any 'aha!' moments. I stop being present with myself. I no longer notice, and curiously act as my own mentor. Then I start the judgements and, well, you know where it goes from there.

For me, consistency and routine are key. I'm starting to see myself as a farmer (I love analogies, we'll come back to the aeroplane symbolism in a bit). I'm in charge of the agricultural plot of my internal world. I get to plant, tend, weed, prune, dig among my beliefs and attitudes to produce the crop that I want. Sporadic tending to my farm doesn't work for me. Oh the weeds! And the young plants need reinforcing, until they are self sufficient, all on their own. So I am committing myself to a daily habit of reflection, meditation, prayer, visualization... so that I can keep my farm in good condition, produce the crop I want and feel my fuel tank full ! (I told you I would get back to it). That way, defying gravity will be a way of life, like it is for the birds, the butterflies, the bees and anything else that flies!

Hope you all are defying gravity, too!


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