Monday, June 8, 2009

Treating Myself!!!

I decided to run a treatment program for myself. I have some growth goals for myself, and since our home-based treatment program works for Jaedon (my 10 year old son diagnosed with autism), I thought I would expand on the concept a bit, to help myself. This might be a little confusing ... since I'm 2 people, the autistic child AND the play partner. I hope you can follow...

Let's look at life before I started by treatment program (the one I run for me...). I wasn't very loving and accepting of myself at all. My attitude was definitely not inspiring growth! The more I learnt about what I wanted me to be doing, the more I judged me for not doing it! This cycle definitely did not lead where I wanted it to go! One day it hit me. If I want to help myself to grow, why don't I start being with me the way I am with Jaedon?

The key to this particular treatment program is the attitude of loving acceptance. Being that way with myself challenged a long held belief that I am lovable because of what I do. That one wasn't serving me well at all! I could never do enough. I looked for evidence everywhere to prove that I wasn't doing enough to measure up. It was exhausting. So, how about changing that belief to "I love and accept me just as I am"? What a freeing thought! Loving and accepting me just as I am, believing that I don't have to do anything to 'qualify' for my own love. That means, I don't have to judge my beliefs, my behaviors, especially my less than loving comments/behaviors to my husband. I can love me no matter what!

Next is the concept of joining. The key element of joining is fascinated curiosity while engaging in the child's behavior, owning it and exploring it to discover the beauty in the behavior. So how do I join me? I notice that as I relax into the loving, accepting attitude, it's easier to notice my own discomfort, look with interest at how I'm responding, and ask questions about whether my response is really what I'm wanting and uncover what's really going on. And, loving acceptance comes in right here: I don't have to say "There you go, believing that again!" I can let go of all self-judgment and embrace another opportunity to grow and change. Plus, when I notice that I've moved further in the direction that I want, I get to celebrate me! Yup, pat myself on the back and recognize myself for what I've done. That feels so much better than what I used to say "About time you did the right thing!"

One of my overall goals is to show up BIG in my life. Part of that for me is to love people in a generous, extravagant way. I've made that my current playroom "challenge" starting with the person closest to me, my soul-mate, Isaiah. What an exciting ride that has been!!! Just to be able to notice myself holding back in any given moment, has opened up so many doors, so many opportunities to do something different and exciting! Of course, this is sooo much easier if I remain present, staying in the moment and experiencing it to its fullest.

Here's my advice: If you are wanting to grow and change yourself in some specific ways, create yourself a treatment program:

  1. Be loving and accepting to yourself

  2. Join yourself: look at what you do with fascination, like a happy detective, to explore what you are believing in that moment

  3. Celebrate your actions that are in the direction of your goals. Yeah!!!

  4. Be present with yourself and experience every moment to the fullest
By the way, this also creates the optimal environment for change in all our loved ones, even those with 'special needs'. Have a great day in the playroom!


  1. YEAHHHHHH. I love it! Faith I'm in! I feel I have started my Son-Rise program a while ago, but now I see how I can structure it and use my three E's to celebrate where I am and what I do right now!!

    Thank you for participating in this blog and start with such an inspirational and clear first article!

    Love, Iris

  2. Me too - I love it - I want to practise the three E's

  3. Wonderful! Thanks for sharing your personal insight into loving acceptance. For us, doing this is key in the effectiveness of our Son-Rise program for our son, Eidan. As we grow ourselves, Eidan grows with us. Sometimes we grow in response to him, too :)


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